Comments on: Top 10 Amazon.com Bible Reviews

By: Bekie

Bekie — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:03:44 +0000

I.LOVE.YOU. for this, you have no idea. It’s going to make my day and i plan on printing this out to help make the day of others XD LOL thank you for this it’s greatly appreciated.

-Bekie

By: diane

diane — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 12:40:39 +0000

has anyone noticed his eyes follow you?

By: Modi

Modi — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 15:13:42 +0000

Fabulous! Couldn’t stop laughing!!!

By: Briana

Briana — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 00:31:37 +0000

Pure gold!! I laughed so hard at this, I almost died!!

By: Jimbob

Jimbob — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:08:21 +0000

I met Jesus once. He’s a bit too “holier than thou” for my liking. He needs to lighten up and have a few beers but I think he’s more of a wine kind of guy.

By: ric savacool

ric savacool — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 20:48:58 +0000

Got to tell ya, JRR Tolkien was ………………..(dramatic pause)……….. a believer! What! To hell you say!

Yeah, how does that taste?

That’s right ladies and germs, the entire “Trilogy of The Ring” is based on JRR Tolkien’s interpretation of the events through WWII and the pursuit for power and global domination. Yes, he was a Messianic Jew.

Example:

GANDALF: My Lord, there will be a time to grieve for Boromir. But it is not now. War is coming. The enemy is on your doorstep! As steward, you are charged with the defense of this city! Where are Gondor’s armies? You still have friends. You are not alone in this fight. Send word to Théoden of Rohan. Light the beacons.

DENETHOR: You think you are wise, Mithrandir, yet for all your subtleties you have not wisdom. Do you think the eyes of the White Tower are blind? I have seen more than you know. With your left hand you would use me as a shield against Mordor, and with your right you would seek to supplant me! I know who rides with Théoden of Rohan. Oh yes! Word has reached my ears of this Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and I tell you now I will not bow to this Ranger from the North, last of a ragged house long bereft of lordship.

GANDALF: Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king, Steward.

DENETHOR: The rule of Gondor is mine, and no other’s!

I.E. — The Sanhedrin and/or King Herod refusing to accept the Heir of the House of David – The ROCK — Jesus Christ (Isiahi’s prophecy and Daniel’s dream)

Don’t believe me. This is very well documented. LOOK IT UP. Read a book why don’cha. Yes, Yes. That’s why I only do two shows a week. THANK YOU CLEVELAND. GOOD NIGHT!

By: Kevin

Kevin — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 18:51:32 +0000

well, when all who have chosen to mock God, Jesus & His word breath their last breath. Then they will believe that Jesus Christ is Lord. Unfortunately, it will then be to late. My genuine hope for you all is that you meet Jesus before its to late. No one can even fathom the amount & extent of the suffering that comes should you have lived your lives worthy of the very God that you mock condemning you to an eternity in hell.
Humble yourselves & seek Christ & you neither know the day nor the hour when your last breath will be breathed.
Imagine spending your eternity here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xV8NLu36Sz0&feature=related

By: Ben

Ben — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 03:50:41 +0000

Ok, I am confused. These reviews were hilarious, but I don’t get it. Why are there a bunch of funny reviews on this particular version on Amazon? I’ve looked at other bible versions, and there is nothing like that. But still, hilarious.

By: Sarita

Sarita — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 09:14:06 +0000

Yes, I am guilty of “stumbling” and finding this. I quite enjoyed it by the way.

By: Pick N Mix - Week Starting 24 November 2008 | Cupcakes and Mace

Pick N Mix - Week Starting 24 November 2008 | Cupcakes and Mace — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 01:21:15 +0000

[...] Top 10 Amazon.com Bible reviews. Hilarious! [...]

By: Bible reviews on Amazon « Dear Jane Sample

Bible reviews on Amazon « Dear Jane Sample — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 00:16:39 +0000

[...] Interesting Stuff Tags: bible reviews on amazon, Interesting Stuff I’ve seen a few blog posts now about consumer reviews on Amazon of … the Bible. Now I know a lot of people are [...]

By: BLUE

BLUE — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 14:59:21 +0000

Funny stuff.

By: Gary Host

Gary Host — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 22:16:11 +0000

The holy Bible was changed and re-written, now the holy Quran has not been changed for what like 1400 years? and all relgious leaders agree to that…Now this is the freak bit, if you count the number of times it says the word ‘water’ and the number of times it says ‘land’ and u get the exact water:land ratio…and that was only discovered recently…

By: L. Moone

L. Moone — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 17:39:38 +0000

I simply did not like this book! I understand it was to be a collection of short stories, fictional, but that they were meant to be tied into actual history of the times.
Well, this is entirely false! The history of the times as presented in this book is garbled and full of misconceptions.
Anybody who reads this be warned- do NOT follow the history presented as verbatim.
Also, there is rampant contradictions within many of the stories themselves.
For example, the main character, who is variously known as “Yahweh” or “God” or “Lord” is said to be loving and kind and wants to protect the people. Yet, he then turns around and “smites” people left and right, through a variety of methods such as famine, disease, flood, (that was a biggy) and in some cases, downright insanity. Yet, the people love him anyway, and continue to talk about what a great God he is. The only sense I can make of it is that the people had that syndrome where a person held against their will comes to love the captors.
Although I understood the stories to be fantasy, I still was tangled up by the lack of flow in general. Even in fantasy, the plot should tie up and make some sort of sense on that realm.
For instance, the first story of this book, where the Lord used magical incantations to create the universe, the earth, animals and plants and then the first people, there is a huge question presented that I have yet to see answered. The Lord said “let US make man in OUR own image”
Who was he talking to, if he was the sole Lord God?
It is sloppy writing to introduce characters into a story and then not explain them somehow, someway.
Also I’d like to point out rampant plagiarism. Many of these stories are obviously (very poorly) copied from earlier legends and tales of the Sumerians- many thousands of years before Jesus was even a twinkle in his daddy’s eye.
Yet I see no reference anywhere to credit the original source. I think somebody ought to be sued, but since we aren’t clear on who the authors of this ill-begotten book really are, I guess no action can be taken.
How did this book ever get published?

Crazy.

By: Mikeynma

Mikeynma — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 16:43:02 +0000

I picked up a copy of this book but was dismayed to find a the first page missing. I enquired as to the missing page and found that it was missing from *all* copies.

I managed to discover what the missing page was, it began with:

“All characters portayed in this book are purely fictional and any resemblance to people alive or dead is purely coincidental”

By: Adam

Adam — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 15:32:51 +0000

The missing imprint page reads…
(King James I had it removed)

all persons in this novel are fictitious and any similarity between anyone living, dead, resurrected (i.e. Zombies) or in a limbo like state, are purely coincidental and the author shall not be held responsible for any actions or beliefs resulting from the reading of this material

By: toni

toni — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:43:24 +0000

Brilliant – nice find.

“I picked this up because I heard it advertised as the Gospel, which translates to “good news.” It opens up by telling the reader how the human race is doomed because two poorly developed characters ate an apple that a snake told them to eat.

That’s not good news.”

By: GnomenKlayture

GnomenKlayture — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 16:27:21 +0000

The comments are the best side-effect of this ‘top 10 list’. My favorite: I love what “Ben” says… “”Revelations” was pretty weird, sort of like watching “Fantasia” while doing mushrooms, only a lot scarier.”

By: Bookgasm: Reading Material to Get Excited About » Blog Archive » NEWSGASM >> 6.26.08

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 11:01:40 +0000

[...] HERE AND NOW as a free downloadable e-book. • Self-explanatory, sacrilegious and side-splitting: the top 10 Amazon reviews of The Bible. • Random House Children’s Books has launched Vronegard Academy, an immersive online game [...]

By: butch

butch — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 04:05:30 +0000

Plagues, wars, famines, greed, pestilence, suffering……. Can’t we all just get alongggggggggggg ?