The 7 Secrets of SEO Success

NB. To ensure full Web 2.0 compliance, this graph is pointlessly interactive (ie, click the slices).

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  1. Paying ‘tributes’ to Matt Cutts. Cuttlet fanboys – you are on watch.
  2. Lowballing for old domains. Google’s domain trust is way out of whack.
  3. Bribing DMOZ editors. Or paying their extortion demands.
  4. Binge drinking. Drinkbait is the new linkbait. You heard it here last.
  5. Tasteless bragging about “making bank. I blame the Miami Vice revival and The Apprentice.
  6. Tagging self in PubCon Flickr group. I cannot bring myself to name names.
  7. Vanity blogging. Question: How does a successful self-publicist internet entrepreneur find time to read every blog post about himself?


  1. says

    I am guilty of most of those things… except the unethical ones and ones not including drinking.

    DRINKBAIT! (it didnt’ work on scoring a link on this post mind you)

  2. says

    Sad commentary when SEOs are constantly made to look like alcoholics…..I doubt the industry will ever get the respect it deserves until the “partyboy” image disappears.

  3. says

    SEOs are alcoholics? Why sire that is a blatant lie. When can one find the time to drink excessively when one is too busy spamming Matt Cutts blog and bragging on SEO forums?

    Well, I could do that on a laptop down the pub I guess. Sounds like a plan.

  4. says

    Hallelujah! I was beginning to get nauseous from all of the my-amazing-stats-that-you-don’t-have end of the month wrap-up posts.

  5. says

    Fantastic. Just saw this over at the SEO Ninja website and has made my day – have printed this off to put on the office wall.

  6. says

    Thanks for #1 😉 I really don’t like this guy. I’m checking his blog from time to time to get some background information about Google and all he’s doing is talk about his cats and hobbies. NO ONE wants to read this!!! He really thinks, people are interested in his cats and hobbies!?

  7. says

    what a colorful pie;) but i think the dmoz has been losing its value, but then its still one of the view worthy directories to be listed in for free;)

  8. says

    The drinking part was very interesting. I was actually laughing over my drink. As for DMOZ ,where can I find the dmoz editors to bribe?

  9. says

    Hey Tonu Rich, you can fi9nd them anywhere, just try to post a thread on DPoint, SEO Chat or Script Lance Projects and you’ll see they’ll pour down.

  10. says

    Interesting. Anyone with experience of contacting DMOZ will probably know that bribing them will not be easy. It will probably take them 3 years to reply back to a bribing request…:-)


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