The 7 Secrets of SEO Success

NB. To ensure full Web 2.0 compliance, this graph is pointlessly interactive (ie, click the slices).

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  1. Paying ‘tributes’ to Matt Cutts. Cuttlet fanboys - you are on watch.
  2. Lowballing for old domains. Google’s domain trust is way out of whack.
  3. Bribing DMOZ editors. Or paying their extortion demands.
  4. Binge drinking. Drinkbait is the new linkbait. You heard it here last.
  5. Tasteless bragging about “making bank. I blame the Miami Vice revival and The Apprentice.
  6. Tagging self in PubCon Flickr group. I cannot bring myself to name names.
  7. Vanity blogging. Question: How does a successful self-publicist internet entrepreneur find time to read every blog post about himself?
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25 Responses to “The 7 Secrets of SEO Success”

  1. Wingnut Says:

    Hah! It’s the pie-chart that makes it great. Well played sir, well played.

  2. Chris Hooley Says:

    I am guilty of most of those things… except the unethical ones and ones not including drinking.

    DRINKBAIT! (it didnt’ work on scoring a link on this post mind you)

  3. Boris Says:

    Thanks for the chuckle…. I usually arrive here expecting good solid SEO advice, but Humor…. Hmm… Thanks

  4. SEO WORLD NEWS » Blog Archive » Across the Web & A Day in the Life Says:

    [...] now, to part 2 of the post. I actually saw this spiffy graph via Lisa and thought - I should make one of those to reflect what my weeks usually look [...]

  5. Clint Dixon Says:

    Sad commentary when SEOs are constantly made to look like alcoholics…..I doubt the industry will ever get the respect it deserves until the “partyboy” image disappears.

  6. MrDaz Says:

    SEOs are alcoholics? Why sire that is a blatant lie. When can one find the time to drink excessively when one is too busy spamming Matt Cutts blog and bragging on SEO forums?

    Well, I could do that on a laptop down the pub I guess. Sounds like a plan.

  7. Kate Says:

    Hallelujah! I was beginning to get nauseous from all of the my-amazing-stats-that-you-don’t-have end of the month wrap-up posts.

  8. Ryan Trembath Says:

    finally! a _______ secrets of ________ post with some substance. haha

  9. Chatmaster Says:

    Lol, I had a nice chuckle on this one, Quality indeed! Nonsense? Mmmmmm…. Got to visit mattcutts first. :)

  10. GroundFloorSEO.com Syndicated SEO News » Successful SEO, Bloglines 3 Releases, Facebook As a Fad & Fun Stuff Says:

    [...] chart that I feel like needs to be posted today. It does a pretty good job of highlighting the 7 areas you must master in order to successful at search engine optimization. Plus, I’m feeling a bit lightheaded today [...]

  11. imjuk Says:

    Fantastic. Just saw this over at the SEO Ninja website and has made my day - have printed this off to put on the office wall.

  12. Friday Funday | Mr Happy Says:

    [...] 7 Secrets to SEO Success - list of the top seven tactics that’ll help you get your site ranked in the major search engines. have nagging suspiscion that it could well be true :p [...]

  13. Dave Davis Says:

    HAHAHAHA! Love it. But by far I love the “interactive web 2.0″ link on the vanity blogging slice. Very appropriate.

    +1 sphinn

  14. seo Says:

    Hmmm… I think you understated the drinking bit…

  15. Steve Says:

    Love the pie chart.

  16. Google Update and Discovering the Keys to SEO Success | Mystic Liquid Says:

    [...] What we found was pretty impressive and hopefully will change the face of search engine optimization for years to come. Thanks to QualiyNonsense.com for putting together this easy to understand pie chart of the “Secrets to SEO Success” [...]

  17. Billo Says:

    Thanks for #1 ;-) I really don’t like this guy. I’m checking his blog from time to time to get some background information about Google and all he’s doing is talk about his cats and hobbies. NO ONE wants to read this!!! He really thinks, people are interested in his cats and hobbies!?

  18. LaSeoguy Says:

    what a colorful pie;) but i think the dmoz has been losing its value, but then its still one of the view worthy directories to be listed in for free;)

  19. tony rich Says:

    The drinking part was very interesting. I was actually laughing over my drink. As for DMOZ ,where can I find the dmoz editors to bribe?

  20. Peter Tremayne Says:

    Never a truer word said in jest! .. I think that’s what it means!!

    Great post, made me larf .. which is always a good thing.

    Keep it real,

    ~ Peter Tremayne

  21. Lucio Says:

    Hey Tonu Rich, you can fi9nd them anywhere, just try to post a thread on DPoint, SEO Chat or Script Lance Projects and you’ll see they’ll pour down.

  22. Deb George Says:

    I, too, love the pie chart. It is really a pleasant visual.

    In addition, I’ll drink to that :)

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